Monday, October 31, 2016

Hillary Clinton: The Horror Movie

At the time of this writing it is impossible to know if Hillary Clinton consigliere, Huma Abedin, born in of all places, Kalamazoo, Michigan, has upended the opening of the Horror Show of the millennium, scheduled for release on January 21st, 2017.

Not to be confused with the Netflix serial drama, House of Cards, this thriller features the Clinton crime family, Clinton Crime Incorporated (CC Inc) as they return to the Washington DC home they vacated and looted in 2001.  You can take the Clintons out of Arkansas, but you can never take Arkansas out of the Clintons.

This time the starring roles are reversed with Hillary Hugo Chavez Clinton cast in the lead.  In the trailer we find the pant suited president late morning staggering around the Oval Office refreshing her martini and planning a not-so-fun future for that “baskest of deplorables” who voted for Trump. So many enemies, so little time. She has just made a call to her IT staff about her new private email server.  She pauses between sips and wonders what Bill, now as First Laddie is up to. 

Well, you don’t need to be a drama critic to guess. In a superb performance in his new supporting role, surprise, surprise, the new Bill is still the old lovable lunk.  He’s slower and grayer, but that old dawg can still hunt. Cigar in hand, he’s feeling like Elvis on Viagra, prowling the White House halls in search of one of those nubile teenage interns he met and recruited on one of his excursions with Jeffery Epstein on his flying libido, “The Lolita Express” to Orgy Island.What are money, power and connections good for if you can't enjoy yourself? quips the horny Slickster with a wink wink.

Chelsea, a CC Inc junior partner, plays her spoiled, entitled self.  She is now CEO of the Clinton Foundation and from her $6,000,000 Manhattan penthouse she manages Hillary’s White House calendar. Those donors from places like Saudi Arabia and Kazakhstan are getting real persistent.  Sometimes, though, her face darkens and she wonders, who might be her real father?  But then she smiles and remembers how Mom would respond:  “what difference does it make now, anyway?”  

Where then are the Weiners?  Anthony and Huma find themselves pondering a very long list of CC Inc heavy lifters who, so to speak, outlived their usefulness to the family. These were folks, some very high up, like Ron Brown, former DNC Chair and Commerce Secretary who  died along with 39 other people when the T-43 (a converted 737 used by the Air Force) carrying the group on a trip to Bosnia crashed while approaching the Dubrovnik airport.  On the verge of being indicted, he stated publicly his willingness to make a deal with prosecutors, Ron Brown's death brought to an end his ability to testify.  THE CLINTON BODY-COUNT | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

The Weiners in this production enter a witness protection program arranged by the FBI and are last seen boarding a plane, destination unknown.

Like in many popular horror movies, the plot lines are too far fetched to be convincing, the characters too simple and crude to be believable.  The acting in this production, however, is first rate. Not recommended for a mature audience. 

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