There’s a sucker born every minute.
P. T. Barnum
“Hillary and Bill Clinton will launch a nationwide speaking tour after the 2018 midterms that will take them to 13 cities in the United States and Canada, according to an announcement Monday by promoter Live Nation.” (, October 8, 2018)
There is something about the Clintons and cynicism that make them seem inseparable, sort of like the inseparables in that old song, “Love and Marriage.” “Can’t have one without the other.” This WP announcement last month (above) should make even a longtime Clintonista feel a bit embarrassed. During their long-term romance with the American people, the Clintons, no doubt, have experienced many feelings; but shame has never been one of them.
The Washington Post might consider issuing a correction on this piece. The “launch” was made decades ago. This duo has been speaking for a very longtime leaving in the wake unforgettable, inspirational gems like, “I did not have sex with that woman,” “What difference does it make now?” and a “vast right-wing conspiracy” floating around somewhere. Clinton speeches are often boring and self-serving, but they are almost always predictable in content – about matters exculpatory or pecuniary, for themselves, of course. So, one must wonder: what could they possibly have to say at this point that in some form or other we haven’t already heard?
The answer, of course, is nothing. “The unusual tour will take the Clintons mainly to friendly territory — including several large Democratic-leaning cities such as Philadelphia, Seattle, Detroit and Boston, as well as Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal…” (WP) “Unusual tour”? It is good to know that the WP staff writers, always trying to step up to the challenge of helping the Clintons appear serious, wholesome, and most important of all, respectable, know how to manage their euphemisms. “The unusual tour” is better than “the Clintons are on their usual pocket-lining prowl for spare cash.” Where better to pick it up than in the ‘easy pickin’ “Democratic-leaning cities.” Canada? Well, I think “follow the money” is the operative phrase, and a country that settles for Justin Trudeau as its Prime Minister is certainly an appropriate venue for the ole Slickster and his little lady to work their magic. “Friendly territory” would probably not include West Virginia – too many of those coal miners Hillary wanted to see unemployed; not enough extra cash to throw into the Clinton collection plate.
This tour resembles the Golden Oldies concerts done by the 60s/70s rock-n-roll has-beens. Like the grey-haired rockers past their prime and pinning for their groupies, the Clintons just cannot call it quits. In the not-too-far future, with Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” as background music, look for some fresh-faced young interns to wheel out the blanket-covered, slack-jawed Bill and Hill in their wheel chairs, waving feebly and still seeing dollar signs floating around through their stroke-dimmed eyes. Audiences, no doubt, will be found who shell out just to look at them. Not having to listen to them talk about themselves will be a vast improvement over the current tour.
For now, however, there is good news:
“Tickets for “An Evening with President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton” will go on sale later this week; prices for a single event are listed as ranging from $59.50 to $375.” (WP)
It wasn’t all that long ago when fifty or sixty minutes-worth of wisdom from either Our Lady of Chappaqua or Arkansas “Elvis” went anywhere from a quarter to three-quarters of a million dollars. But for some inexplicable reason the Saudi princes, Goldman Sacks executives and the Kazakhstan dictator no longer care to throw their spare change out for Clintons to pick up and funnel into their coffers, I mean their charity work. Now for a measly sixty bucks a head you can bring the whole family and can get an entire “evening” of enlightenment and that vintage Clinton charm from both Madam Secretary and the ex-Pres.
Continuing with the Washington Post’s promotional efforts:
“The event is billed as an opportunity to hear the Clintons ‘provide a unique perspective on the past, and remarkable insight into where we go from here,’ including their views on ‘one of the United States’ most controversial and unpredictable presidential elections.’” “Unique” perspectives on the past are sort of a Clinton trade mark, coming now, apparently, at a reduced bargain basement discount. But they are not as creative and original now as back when the First Couple were partying in the White House and renting out the Lincoln bedroom to prospective donors. During the Lewinski business Bill’s perspective, shall we say, was beyond unique:statement that “there's nothing going on between us” had turned out to be false, because he had no ongoing relationship with Lewinsky at the time he was questioned, he responded “It depends upon what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.” Not exactly Churchillian, but it is certainly a keeper, one for the ages, and captures in a short, simple and truly remarkable sentence both the style and substance of the man from Hope, Arkansas.
For unique perspectives on the past, Hillary, unfortunately, does not possess Bill’s talent for a succinct and paradigmatic phrasing to address sometimes difficult matters that come into question. Back in 2014, as she was eying the Presidency, Hillary was on stage with NYT Clinton-sycophant and obnoxious know-it-all, Thomas Friedman, who asked her to summarize her accomplishments in her tenure as Secretary of State. For a question she cannot or does not want to answer, Hillary’s approach is to lay down a dense cloud of verbal smog until her listeners’ eyes begin to glaze over. Click on this two-minute to experience a masterpiece of mindless, dithering incoherence while watching Freidman looking on like he’s having a petit mal seizure. Then try to comprehend why anyone would pay this woman a quarter million dollars or more for a speech. With this question, Friedman inexplicably had stepped out of his assigned role and asked Mrs. Clinton a real question. He was supposed to have posed it this way: “Secretary Clinton, in the face of Republican hostility, nay-saying and sexism you did all of these wonderful x, y and z things as Secretary of State. How do you feel about that?” It is obvious, body-language wise, at the very beginning of the video that the finger-pointing Mrs. Clinton was not happy with the way Mr. Friedman’s put the question to her.
But let’s move on from “unique perspective[s] on the past” to “remarkable insight into where we go from here…” Yes, but who exactly is the “we” that will be going somewhere? Probably not the 62 million “deplorable”, “irredeemable” bigots who didn’t vote for her. The Clintons have always quite selective about who gets to be one of their “we’s” – not that it always works out well to be one. Just ask Monica Lewinski, Susan McDougal or Webster Hubbell. But as we see, it doesn’t cost as much as it used to.
It is obvious where the Clintons are going from here, and it is not quietly, graciously into their long overdue retirement. Rumors now have it that Hillary is planning yet another Presidential run in 2020. What is remarkable is that the Democrat bosses, the MSM and the “progressives” who desperately want one of their own back in charge, default to subsidizing Hillary’s delusions and resentment, stroking her demanding ego and pretending that she is something other than a whiny, pathetic loser. She will never figure out that she is a loser. But it’s time to let her sulk about it on her own and on her own dime. Please go away Hillary. You had your shot. You blew it.